the big 1-0!

April 7, 2010 at 8:08 am 4 comments

Yep! My little baby turned 10 yesterday.

Sometimes I wish kids came with a pause button, or a rewind button.

I know that I have mentioned this before (maybe) but I was 19 when I had this beautiful baby. A child still myself. And debating on if I wanted to keep her or not. I was in an ugly time in my life. And after much research, I decided I did not want this little baby’s life to end before it had a chance to start.

I knew the road was going to be bumpy.

I knew there would be no sleep.

I did not know that babies cry so much.

But I knew that God gave me this beautiful little girl to save me from the train wreck of my life.

So I chose life.

I grabbed the bull by the horns and for those next 9 months I absorbed as much knowledge as I could on becoming a parent.

Ten years ago yesterday I sat in a hospital bed alone holding this 7lbs 15 oz baby who looked up at me like I had the answers to everything.

I remember feeling scared, I remember feel proud, I remember wanting to tell it on a mountain that I am now a Mother. I found my place in the world after feeling so lost for most of it. I remember thinking that if I can grow and give birth to a baby I could do anything. I could mend broken relationships. I could come out of my shell a little bit. I could read Good Night Moon for the umpteenth time. I could sit in a rocking chair at 3:00a.m. holding her because she just did not want to go to sleep. All because of this little baby.

And my “friends” did not understand why I did not want to “party it up” when they could clearly hear that colicky baby in the background. But my decision was easy. I wanted to be there. She was my responsibility. I did not want to pass her off on a Grandparent so I could go back to the train wreck that was my life.

Was it hard? Yes. And at times the tears were shared by both of us. (Nothing like the two of us sitting up in the middle of the night crying because that’s all we knew we wanted to do) But I would do it all again.

So I gave her an Irish name that means beautiful. To celebrate my Irish ancestors before me that had children and made it through those tough times. But most of all to celebrate the fact that she came into my life when it was at its ugliest and made it beautiful. 

She made me someone I never thought I would be, she made me a Mother!

Happy 10th Birthday baby girl!!

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Entry filed under: family life.

for the birthday girl! the shawl that has it all

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Robin  |  April 7, 2010 at 8:20 pm

    Someday, your daughter will hopefully read this entry and feel so proud of you. Congratulations to you both.

    Reply
  • 2. livesimplylovestrongly  |  April 13, 2010 at 5:20 pm

    Hi, I enjoy your blog and seeing the projects you are working on! I was looking for a button to click on to “follow” or subscribe via google reader, but didn’t see one. Is it possible to do this on your blog? If so, how?

    Reply
    • 3. multicrafty  |  April 14, 2010 at 6:56 am

      Well thank you so much! I do not have an actual button to click to follow as I am not that tech savvy. But I know in Google Reader you just copy and paste the web address you want to follow then click add.

      Reply
  • 4. Renna  |  May 3, 2010 at 12:55 am

    That was a beautifully written post about a beautiful little girl, and her mommy.

    Reply

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